Seven Stages of the "Married Cold"

But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called
"Today," lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
Hebrews 3:13

Some clever observer has described the way family members often drift
apart as "the seven stages of the married cold." The pattern can be
illustrated by tracing the reaction of a husband to his wife's cold
symptoms during seven years of marriage:

The first year-"Sugar Dumpling, I'm worried about my baby girl. You have
a bad sniffle, and there's no telling about these things with all this
strep around. I'm putting you in the hospital for a general checkup and
rest."

Year two-"Listen, Darling, I don't like the sound of that cough. I'll
bathe the kids and put them down. You just lie down while I get the car
nice and warm."

Year three-"Feeling a little punk are you, Hon? Maybe you'd better lie
down and rest. I'll bring you something to eat. Do we have any soup?"

Year four-"Look, Dear, be sensible. After you feed the kids and wash the
dishes, you'd better hit the sack."

Year five-"You don't sound so good. Why don't you get yourself a couple
of aspirin?"

Year six-"If you'd just gargle or something instead of sitting around
barking like a seal, I'd appreciate it!"

Year seven-"For Pete's sake, stop sneezing! What are you trying to do,
give me pneumonia?"

While we may smile at this imaginary degeneration of concern, it's all
too real in many marriage relationships. The pattern is in sharp
contrast with our text, which calls for daily encouragement that keeps
relationships warm and alive, rather than steady discouragement that can
only harden hearts.

It is important for you to make this atmosphere of support and
encouragement a foundation of your marriage. Marriage can rob your
relationship of intimacy and excitement. Why not decide today to find a
fresh way to encourage your spouse.


Discuss: Do the ways you and your mate express concern for each other's
troubles differ now from when you were first married? Are some of these
changes natural and appropriate? Do others foster isolation?

Pray: That the "dailiness" of family life and its increasing familiarity
will serve to draw your family closer instead of leading to
indifference.